Tuesday, May 31, 2005

Abuse? What abuse?

I think by now we've all read the reports that Dick Cheaney was "offended" by the Gitmo reports of prisoner abuse, and that the Pretzeldent considers the report "absurd."

{pause} {sigh}

Who are they trying to kid? Do they really think the rest of the world is buying the "Dur...I uh disagree" approach? Especially after this? Or this? Or these? Do they really think that the rest of the world, or even a large percentage of the American people, believe these to be "isolated incidents"?

Of course, the folks at Fox News, in their hurry to bring us the "Fair & Balanced" version, pull the old "Hey look! Closing arguments in the Michael Jackson trial!" bluff.

Friday, May 27, 2005

Quote of the day...

This may even be the quote of the week...

In response to Tom DeLay's crybaby act over having his name mentioned in passing on NBC's "Law & Order: Criminal Intent", the show's executive producer and creator, Dick Wolf had this to say:

"Every week, approximately 100 million people see an episode of the branded 'Law & Order' series. Up until today, it was my impression that all of our viewers understood that these shows are works of fiction as is stated in each episode.

"But I do congratulate Congressman DeLay for switching the spotlight from his own problems to an episode of a TV show."

Thursday, May 26, 2005

Bill O'Jury

.
-Greg Beato

Picture, courtesy of Wonkette.

O'Reilly is such an idiot....

Wednesday, May 11, 2005

Well hello there...

A big hello and welcome to my new political blog. I figured this post would be the best way to start out. I don't know who wrote this originally...but it's f'ing brilliant. If anyone knows who wrote it, please send me a message so I can post a link to their site, or at least give them credit for their masterpiece. My appologies to my fellow red state liberals such as Doug and Ann (also known as his Baby Sis), as I do realize not all red-staters think this way...and that a lot of blue-staters actually do. However, it is brilliant nonetheless. With that said....enjoy.

The concession speech Kerry should have given:

I concede that I overestimated the intelligence of the American people. Though the people disagree with the President on almost every issue, you saw fit to vote for him. I never saw that coming. That's really special. And I mean "special" in the sense that we use it to describe those kids who ride the short school bus and find ways to injure themselves while eating pudding with rubber spoons. THAT kind of special.

I concede that I misjudged the power of hate. That's pretty powerful stuff...and I didn't see it. So let me take a moment to congratulate the President's strategists: Putting the gay marriage amendments on the ballot in various swing states like Ohio... well, that was just genius. Genius. It got people, a certain kind of people, to the polls. The unprecedented number of folks who showed up and cited "moral values" as their biggest issue, those people changed history. The folks who consider same sex marriage a more important issue than war, or terrorism, or the economy... Who'd have thought the election would belong to them? Well, Karl Rove did. Gotta give it up to him for that. [Boos.] Now, now. Credit where it's due.

I concede that I put too much faith in America's youth. With 8 out of 10 of you opposing the President, with your friends and classmates dying daily in a war you disapprove of, with your future being mortgaged to pay for rich old peoples' tax breaks, you somehow managed to sit on your asses and watch the Cartoon Network while aging homophobic hillbillies carried the day. You voted with the exact same anemic percentage that you did in 2000. You suck. Seriously, y'do. [Cheers, applause] Thank you. Thank you very much.

There are some who would say that I sound bitter, that now is the time for healing, to bring the nation together. Let me tell you a little story. Last night, I watched the returns come in with some friends here in Boston. As the night progressed, people began to talk half-seriously about secession, a red state / blue state split. The reasoning was this: We in blue states produce the vast majority of the wealth in this country and pay the most taxes, and you in the red states receive the majority of the money from those taxes while complaining about 'em. We in the blue states are the only ones who've been attacked by foreign terrorists, yet you in the red states are gung ho to fight a war in our name. We in the blue states produce the entertainment that you consume so greedily each day, while you in the red states show open disdain for us and our values. Blue state civilians are the actual victims and targets of the war on terror, while red state civilians are the ones standing behind us and yelling, "Oh, yeah!? Bring it on!"

More than 40% of you Bush voters still believe that Saddam Hussein had something to do with 9/11. I'm impressed by that, truly I am. Your sons and daughters who might die in this war know it's not true, the people in the urban centers where al Qaeda wants to attack know it's not true, but those of you who are at practically no risk believe this easy lie because you can. As part of my concession speech, let me say that I really envy that luxury. I concede that.

Healing? We, the people at risk from terrorists, the people who subsidize you, the people who speak in glowing and respectful terms about the heartland of America while that heartland insults and excoriates us... we wanted some healing. We spoke loud and clear. And you refused to give it to us, largely because of your high moral values. You knew better: America doesn't need its allies, doesn't need to share the burden, doesn't need to unite the world, doesn't need to provide for it's future. Hell no. Not when it's got a human shield of pointy-headed, atheistic, unconfrontational breadwinners who are willing to pay the bills and play nice in the vain hope of winning a vote that we can never have. Because we're "morally inferior," I suppose, we are supposed to respect your values while you insult ours. And the big joke here is that for 20 years, we've done just that.

It's not a "ha-ha" funny joke, I realize, but it's a joke all the same.